Can I tell my counsellor I want them to do something differently?

“I like my counsellor, but I wish they'd ask me more questions. Is it okay to say that?”

Yes.

People want different things from counselling. Some people need plenty of space and find questions distracting. Someone else might find a long silence uncomfortable and want their counsellor to respond more. You might want to stay with one subject for longer, or realise that the way you've been using your sessions isn't really helping. You can absolutely talk about this.

Your counsellor won’t necessarily change their whole way of working to suit every request because different approaches do work differently, and sometimes what you're asking for might be outside what that counsellor offers, but I think you should be able to have the conversation.

In my own work, being person-centred doesn't mean I expect you to adapt yourself to whatever I happen to do. I'm interested in what helps you feel able to think, talk and be yourself in the room. If something I'm doing is getting in the way of that, I'd rather know. You can also change your mind. What felt useful during your first few sessions might become less useful later.

Counselling is an unusual relationship, and it can take a while to discover what you need from it. You don't have to be a “good client” by quietly accepting everything that happens.