If someone you love or live with has problems with hoarding, we might be left with a lot of questions like how do we get them to accept help, or make the house safer. Why can’t they clear, or why can’t they let this particular thing go? But you’re in this relationship as well, and your feelings matter.
Maybe you’re angry about not being able to use parts of your home, or embarrassed about having people round. Money, safety, social life and job security might all be affected by somebody else’s hoarding. You could then feel guilty, because you can see the other person struggling as well.
Even if you understand somebody’s relationship with their possessions, it doesn’t mean that it can’t affect you too. It’s possible to care about why discarding things feels unbearable for them, and also feel frustrated that parts of your home are unusable. You can respect somebody else’s autonomy whilst also having needs and limits of your own.
Counselling can’t change the way another person relates with their possessions but it can give you a space to talk about what living alongside the situation is like, including feelings that aren’t always easy to admit.
If somebody else's hoarding is affecting your life, you are allowed to think about what support you need too.