What if I have too many things to talk about in counselling?

“I don’t have one problem. There are about six things going on and I don’t even know which one I’m supposed to start with.”

People sometimes believe that thy need to make themselves easier to understand before beginning counselling. Building a counselling relationship can be difficult sometimes, and often the work is messy, with lots of different aspects of a person’s life overlapping in unfamiliar or unpredictable ways.

I don’t think counselling needs to start with compartmentalising your life into neat boxes, because our experiences tend not to be. The way you feel in a relationship, for example, might connect with something that’s going on at work, which maybe reminds you of a particular friendship at school. Something that’s on your mind today might put an old experience into new perspective.

In counselling, we tend to begin with whatever feels most present, and relevant connections will gradually and naturally become clear over time. Before counselling begins there is no need to diagnose or formulate in order to share how you’re feeling. Arriving to counselling and starting with “I’ve got a lot going on and I don’t know where to start” is a beginning in itself.

If you have been postponing counselling because you cannot explain neatly what you need help with, my website explains more about how I work and you are welcome to use the free introductory call simply to talk it through.